Getting Raw – 5 16 11

Posted: May 17, 2011 in WWE Raw, Smackdown Pay-Per-Views

Getting Raw with it.

We start off with John Cena coming to the ring.  He’s the champion for the 29th time but we love him.  A-Ri (on wheat) guesses what Cena’s going to talk about.  Hustle, loyalty, respect.  He shows a video of the Miz giving Cena a beat down.  We have an I quit match this Sunday.  Will the Miz be the first one to make Cena say the words “I quit.” A-Ri with a cheap shot at the Spurs.  Who cares.  People love John Cena.  You are as stupid as you are useless.  The Miz would never say I don’t have testicles. (don’t get it).  I quit match this Sunday at Over the Limit.

Kofi Kingston!!!  I love this guy.  He’s from West Africa and went to Boston College.  GTS on Kofi Kingston.  Yes! CM Punk, my fellow Chicagoan wins.  Boooo hoo hoo west african.  CM Punk wins, leadership by example.  CM Punk with the nazi salute.

Divas match.  Nice pop to Kharma coming out.  I dig her music.  Bella twins waiting for Kharma.  What’s going to be?  Kharma takes care of Bella twins.  Slaps Kelly Kelly on the head as if to say, yeah I could totally destroy you right now but I won’t. Kharma is looking good.

Rey Misterio in the ring.  Buenas Noches San Antonio.  He knows Spanish.  He came to speak the truth y la pura verdad.  Rey Misterio doesn’t go blaming his friends for his problems.  Instead he wants to call out the guy who jumped him and handle his business like a man (chihuahua).   Rey calls out R-Truth.  No R-Truth! Gente sucia y descarada de San Antonio.  Love how Ricardo Rodriguez insults everyone.  The Mexican Aristocrat.  He is Alberto Del Rio but you already knew that especially you you little chihuahua.  ADR is puro Latino.  Not like these pochos from San Antonio.  ADR says that they begged him to come here not like Rey and all the people there that came to the US like a bunch of ratas (rats).  Rey Misterio is proud to be Mexicano and also proud to be American.  If R-Truth is not coming down he has no problem shutting his mouth.  R-Truth out in the bleachers.  Call the cops, that man is a thief yo, he stole my spot.  Misterio going for the 619.  RR blocks it and gets ADR disqualified.  This Sunday, Rey Misterio, you’re going to get gotten.

Official contract signing between Michael Cole and Jerry the King Lawler.  JKL says that if he loses he will give Michael Cole his HOF ring and if it ever came to be he will personally induct him to the Hall of Fame.  The stipulation in the match is that the loser kisses the foot of the winner.  They show the video of Bret Hart’s foot in Lawler’s face circa 1995.  Cole shows his nasty feet.  Lawler says that was Bret the Hitman Hart and you ain’t no Bret the Hitman Hart.  Cole says nobody remembers Swagger being a champion.  Swagger didn’t like that.  Some people say that Swagger being his sidekick was the best thing that happened in his career.  Swagger leaves Cole alone in the ring with Lawler.  Cole and Lawler have worked for 14 years.  Sunday Lawler is going to stick his foot in Cole’s mouth and close it.

Still waiting to see who will face Cena on Raw just 6 days before Over the Limit.

Coming down to the ring.  The WWE Tag Team Champions Kane and the Big Show.  Yes! CM Punk’s Music!!!  Otunga and McGillucuty will face the tag team champions.  Otunga and McGillucuty win by cheating.  But no change of hands for the tag team championship belts.

Over the Limit.  Christian vs Orton, Rey Misterio vs R-Truth, John Cena vs the Miz in an I quit match.  Jerry the King Lawler vs Michael Cole in a Kiss my Foot Match.

Miz comes out to announce Cena’s opponent for tonight.  Who will it be.  Cena comes in first. At the ramp, keeping his eyes on A-Ri and the Miz.  Who attacks Cena from behind?  It’s Jack Swagger, Cena’s opponent for tonight.  And oh yeah, it’s a no holds barred match.  Let’s go Cena, Cena sucks.  Cena wins with an Attitude Adjustment followed by the STF.

Miz comes to the ring. Says there are a million ways to beat Cena.  Most ruthless guy he has ever faced in his life.  Miz with a steel pipe.  At Over the Limit the Miz will say I quit.

Favorite part of the show: Alberto Del Rio’s promo.  The guy is getting good. It’s only a matter of time before he becomes champion.

Quote of the week: (R-Truth) “Call the cops yo, he stole my spot.” Priceless.

Brought to you by Akiva Murguia. The Voice of the Wrestling Breakdown Show.

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